Tuesday, August 26, 2014

the one thing i will NOT be purchasing for my new home..

happppppppy tuesday loves!

if any of you have been following my journey via facebook/instagram, you'll know my struggle with the scale.
in the beginning of my journey, it was my best friend.  i was constantly seeing that number go down, which in turn just made me happy.  it gave me assurance that all of my hard work was getting me somewhere, and that i wasn't doing this "for nothing".

well, about a year ago, the scale stopped moving.
and by stopped, i mean it either went up significantly, or went down by 2 ounces, then proceeded to go up again.

consistency and balance have been the absolute two hardest parts of this journey.  i have a strong addiction to food.  in the beginning of this journey, i definitely changed my eating habits, but if i wanted to splurge, i let myself.  but sometimes, splurges turned into full on binges.  but even if i binged, there were weeks that i'd still see the number drop on the scale, so i don't think my mind has FULLY switched on to what needs to happen.

 i need to cut the shit.  i need to not turn to food.  i need to figure out the reason why i automatically do so. but again, i'm getting off topic. :)

i haven't stepped on the scale in almost 3 weeks.

THREE. WEEKS.

it's liberating.

is there a part of me that wants to do it?
OF COURSE THERE IS.

but what happens if i don't "like" the number? i get sad. i eat food to cure that sadness.
what happens if i DO like the number? there's part of me that's all like YEAH, KEEP GOING! and then there's another part of me that's all "oh wow! you actually accomplished something! let's celebrate with banana bread beer and cheese! you deserve it!"

believing that i "deserve" to eat crap, is ridiculous.  and just another blog post that i intend to write.

so right now, i'm making healthy choices. i'm working out and staying active.  i'm saying no when i want to say no, and sometimes i'm saying yes to things i probably shouldn't be saying yes to.  but i'm working on balance, and right now the scale just can't be a factor.

i base so much of my worth and happiness on a damn number.  for what fuckin reason?!
what does that number actually DO for me?!

absolutely. nothing.

so as i sit here and make lists of allllllll of the things i need to make my new house a home, i can happily say, a scale will not be on that list.  and that makes me ridiculously happy :)


14 comments:

  1. Love it. Our stories are so similar

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    1. it's always nice to know we're not alone :)

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  2. Ditch the scale! It truly tells us nothing!

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  3. Way to go! Figuring out what works best for you is the key! I get on the scales daily. Although I have a number in mind that I want to get to, I'm really using the scale to keep me in check. I only weigh first thing in the morning before I shower and get ready so if I don't like what I see I've either forgotten by the time I go downstairs for my breakfast, or it fuels me to really kick it in gear that day so I see some change the next day. But at times I do get too obsessed with it and have to take some time away and focus on my measurements. I try to take those every few weeks too and that helps me keep a pretty good relationship with my scales.

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    1. that's awesome! one day I'll have a healthy relationship with the scale :)

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  4. Oh the scale is the WORST!! I can be feeling AMAZING then I step on the scale and I want to sit down and cry. So I have kept myself off of it as much as I can but sometimes my curiosity does get the best of me!

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    1. exactly! it can be super hard! still goin strong :)

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  5. Last week I had my last appointment with my nutritionist, before that I was in control for 3 months, three months that the biggest challenge for me was to trust my process, not measure what I eat, not weigh myself or take measures. It was very difficult and the only thing that kept me when I wanted to get the scale under my bed was #operationloveyourself…show some respect to yourself, show some confidence to yourself, show some love to yourself…just like Kate does. I actually got my goal weight, even if during the process I met you and realized that all that goal weight was sh*t. Please don’t buy a scale for your new hose, wear your #operationloveyourself tank daily instead.

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    1. that makes my heart SO happy to hear!

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  6. I have a crazy scale that is inaccurate and has a different measurement literally everytime I step on it. It actually makes me crazy not knowing the truth.

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